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2003-03-30 - 11:23 p.m.

Should We Be Outraged?

by Dan Brown

What if:

The Iranians were practicing terrorism, and

The Contra rebels were practicing terrorism, and

The Congress made it illegal to conspiratorially or otherwise assist either, and

The Reagan/Bush administration did it anyway, and

They got caught, and

The President of the United States pardoned these terrorist helpers.

Should we be outraged?

How about if those terrorist assisters somehow managed to get back into the government, and

They developed a plan to get revenge on their old friend Saddam Hussein and get his oil, and

They wrote about it back in the 1990s, and

They called their plan the Project for a New American Century, and

They used a terrorist attack on America to falsely justify their plan, and

They did it without international support, and

They tried to cover it up by saying it was for the U.N., but

The U.N. said "we have a better idea," and

They said "tough we're the last SuperPower, ha ha ha ha ha," and

They launched an unprovoked invasion anyway.

Should we be outraged?

How about if those creepy Iranian/Contra terrorist aiders invaded Afghanistan, and

They told everybody the Geneva Convention no longer applied to them, and

They displayed prisoners bound, blindfolded and naked on a stretchers, and

They displayed prisoners with hoods on their heads, and

They displayed prisoners in chain-link cages, and

They held US citizens without recourse to lawyers, and

They coined a term that they said got them off the hook, and

They refused to abide by the Convention on Torture even though they were signatories, and

Prisoners died in their custody from blunt trauma, and

Amnesty International said they were "alarmed", and

Then some of their own soldiers were captured and displayed, and

They said "that's against the Geneva Convention", and

People shook their heads at their arrogance, so

They blew up civilians and TV stations and radio in violation of the Geneva Convention.

Should we be outraged?

How about if they kept Iraq controlled for 12 years, and

They depleted their conventional military capability by 60%, and

They found and destroyed 90% of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, and

Wars, sanctions, and disease brought the median age of Iraqis to 15 years old, and

The UN reinstated a weapons inspection program, and

It began to look like the program was working, and

The Contra/Iranian terrorist-funding plotters began to fear they wouldn't get their war, and

Hans Blix said he was a few months from complete disarmament, and

Twelve years is lots shorter than how long Israel's been in violation of resolutions, and

Hans Blix published twelve steps to complete disarmament, and

The IAEA guy said "No way does Iraq have nuclear weapon capability," and

The guy who helped sell the My Lai story said "Hey read this paper evidence," and

Everyone laughed because it was such a poor forgery, and

All the greatest nations on Earth said "War is not the Answer," and

The Iran/Contra terrorist assistants said we're going alone, and

Poor Eritrea said "we'll say it's okay too for a bit of money," and

They said "Sure" and pulled the money out of the mouths of starving babies at home, and

They used it to buy support, but

Still all the greatest nations on Earth said "War is not the Answer," and

They stole some more money from schools and the sick and pregnant moms, and

They tried to give it to Turkey, and

They winked at Turkey about their little "Kurdish problem," and

Turkey remembered that they were a Democracy and said like other great nations "No," and

They said "Tough we'll do it with just our Anglo-Saxon buddies," and

They got less than 10% of their invading military from Britain, and

A paltry one percent from Australia, and

Morocco said "We'll let you blow up monkeys", and

The world rose up to resist their hegemony, and

They invaded Iraq anyway.

Should we be outraged?

I am.

Dan Brown
Saint Paul, Minnesota

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